I've heard it said that pregnancy makes you 110% you. If this is true, I truly am a crazy person. And at the brink of the third trimester, I have reached the point of no return. I cannot control my crabbiness any longer, not that I was doing a great job of doing so before this point. I think even my boss is scared of me. He tiptoed over to my cube today (in his designer suit & tie) and said, I'm going to forward you an e-mail that will make you mad... His wife has been pregnant, he knows how it goes. Luckily for him, it was about something I figured out, got mad about, and got over last week. Been there, done that, moved on! Too busy being mad about other stuff now!

In my dream world, I would have an interpreter with me 24/7 from this day forward. Any time something annoys me, I will glare at the interpreter over the top of my glasses, and she will read my mind and provide a sweet, smiling, polite response to whoever is bothering me. This is New York so, A, surely you could find people willing to do this for money (actors?), and B, surely you could find people willing to pay ridiculous amounts of cash for the service. Move over, Spanx lady; it's time for me to make my billions.